What’s your experience around death?  Who have you known that has died and how did it feel?  How do you look at death?  What do you imagine your own death will look like?  How would you like it to look like?  In the next week, my partner Judith and I will be completing our 5 Wishes; a clear and simple legal document that outlines exactly what you want for your last months or days.

We are all dying.  You will die.  As a close friend says, ‘we are all dying of a sexually transmitted terminal disease’. That’s true, yes?

At this moment I have several friends who are entering into their last phases of living and are approaching death.  One is now celebrating their life and connections.  He’s been told by doctors that he has only 3 weeks.  He’s surrounded by loving family and friends.   And here is the greatest part of this; he is feeling so much love as never before.  He is in such bliss and ecstasy at this point in his life.  He is dying as he lived.  With full passion and adventure.  He appreciates every moment of breath and life; and is ready to live or die.

Question for you… why wait?   How can you/I experience this type of passion and love while still in our bodies fullness?

In our American culture, we have so many issues with death.  We want to keep it a mystery.  We want to not discuss it or think about it.  We want to protect our children from it by not allowing them to see and experience grandma or grandpas last days.  We hide behind rituals that protect us from the end.  It is a downer for most.

How about a new vision.  A recent grandma and her family  on Maui were offered a different alternative.  Instead of dying alone in a hospital; she came home to her family.  Her children and grandchildren watched as Grandma lived her last days in a pain free style.  She talked to her kids and grandkids.  Love was exchanged.  Tears were exchanged.  Grandma passed in the presence of her whole family.  The EMT’s and police did not come, but she was taken care of by traditional people of Hawaii who prepared her body.  She was lovingly cared for a  nd family got to say and feel what what was true for them.  All said their goodbyes.  The family did not have cash for a casket, so loving people provided a cardboard casket.  The grandkids colored and wrote messages on the casket to their grandma.  They put flowers and fresh fruit in the casket.  Then all the family drove to the crematorium together and pushed the button to allow grandma to become ashes.

They celebrated her with a party.  Again love and story were exchanged.

Death is not a crisis. Death is natural and as a rite of passage, an initiation.  Let’s learn to celebrate and allow for the last magic to happen.

At death, at conscious death, there is always a last gift for those left behind.  Let’ all look at our feelings and beliefs around death.